


Ennumeration

by lolcano



Series: We Need New Stories [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Thor is a good king, this story is a little silly, thor learns the names of the civilians on the ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 01:43:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19965865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolcano/pseuds/lolcano
Summary: It must be pretty cool to be the King of Asgard, right?WRONG!Do you know how many reports you need to read in order to manage a ship of that size? Quite a lot, as Thor finds out.(let's pretend Infinity War never happened, okay? They are still on the ship after Ragnarok)





	1. Chapter 1

One of the first things that was compiled after the destruction of Asgard and their safe arrival aboard the ship that would carry them to their new home, was the census. The names of all people present were recorded on a scroll, along with their age (translated for your convenience to their equivalent relative age in human years) and occupation.

Here is a sample of the document:

Ragneid Haakondottir, 37, caterer

Jannikke Larsdottir (41) & Magnus Olafson (14) & Berte Olafdottir (11), homemaker & children

Sigurd Sorenson, 68, shop owner

Hallfrid Ulfdottir, 48, Lady

Signe Yandottir, 34, biologist

Siggeir Horkelson, 37, groom

Hoti Siggeirson, 7, n/a

Snorri Borinson, 26, Doctor

And so forth.

A copy was posted in a public place for the people to read, so that the people could see who had lived and who had died. Another copy was prepared for the king, who read the whole thing top to bottom. It was long read, and rather tedious. And yet he wished it was longer.

The sum of his people, Asgard itself, contained in a scroll, the sum of their being contained in three brief data points, name, age, and occupation. And the sum was, in total, 432 people.

432! A staggering reduction from the initial population of Asgard, which had never been large to begin with. Compared to Midgard, Asgard had always been nothing more than a jot, and now they were less a jot, a corpuscle, and it would take centuries, millennia, until they reached anything close to its former size. That is what the population projection contained in the appendix of the report said: a century and perhaps the population would breach a thousand.

This report had been prepared for him by a professional looking lady that Heimdall had commissioned, whose name was on record as Kanda Orvikdottir, 32, a former warehouse manager, and sat in his office alongside several other lengthy documents on food production, consumption projections, waste management, time management proposals, militia, education, and so forth, pages and pages of data which all meant nothing to him.

To demonstrate: according to the reports, the final population of living Aesir was 432, the vast majority of which were women and children, the young men having mostly perished against Hela. In addition to the 432 Aesir (which besides also included small pockets of Vanir and other ethnic diaspora from the colonial realms, whose numbers could only be guessed as ethnicity was not recorded), there were also 30 of various species who had come from Sakaar, and 1 large green monster who had originally come from planet Earth.

So in total the ship held 463 living and breathing souls. This was well within the ship's capacity, as it had (according to another report at least) room for almost 1000 people. And so they had no trouble allotting chambers for each person, there was enough for all of them but many shared anyways since all the rooms had queen sized beds, and some even had two, which were given to those with families. Then there were the luxury suites, which Thor had declined to use, and if push ever came to shove there was also an expansive dormitory in the medical bay (partly occupied at the moment by those injured in the final battle), as well as a cramped room in the belly of the ship originally meant for staff.

The ship also boasted several small cafes and bars, several large conference halls and activity rooms, a theatre, a fully equipped gym, a garden, and, for some inexplicable reason, a skydiving chamber and a skating rink.

It appeared to have originally been built as a luxury cruiser, and so although it was well-stocked and comfortable, it was large and bulky and slow. But however, according to this OTHER report, although they had found a large stock of freeze-dried food available which would last them for some time (refer to Appendix A for a detailed analysis of the chemical composition of the food and to Appendix B for a detailed rationing plan), despite this there had nonetheless been some other unforeseen problems with food production, the solution of which was being tackled in a two pronged approach as outlined in section A and B, and furthermore it was recommended that such and such thing happen and well, Thor couldn't stand another minute of it!

What did it all mean? It appeared so simple when written down, but who exactly was Ragneid Ulfdottir, 38, caterer? Who was Jannikke Larsdottir (41) & Magnus Olafson (14) & Berte Olafdottir (11), homemaker & children, and what had happened to Olaf their father, who did not appear in the report? Not only did the report say things, but what it didn't say also said things, and how were you supposed to make heads or tails out of that?

And yet Thor knew how very important it was. Yes, it was tedious, but wasn't that his responsibility? Being a king was more than fighting noble battles. It mattered very much, how much food they had, how much fuel they had. If they didn’t have food, they wouldn’t survive. If they didn’t have fuel, they wouldn’t survive. He needed to figure it out, to plan, to organize, to get everything together. They were all counting on him.

But he didn’t understand it. Why was he so useless? The numbers all blurred together in his head. He had to go over them again. He had to keep reading, keep planning, keep organizing. He had to keep it all together. He had to protect his people.

And so he read on.


	2. Chapter 2

Valkyrie could not find Thor. She had been looking for him all throughout the ship, but he wasn’t there. He wasn’t here in his office either. All that was there in his office was paperwork. She shrugged and headed out the door, but just as she was about to leave, she heard a loud groan.

“Thor?” she asked, “Are you there?”

“Sorry, Thor is currently dead,” said Thor, “Please come back later.”

Valkyrie looked back at the desk more closely. If she squinted her eyes, she could make out the lachrymose form of Thor, sitting dejectedly behind a mountain of reports.

“Really?” said Valkyrie, “What happened?”

“He died of boredom. Read one too many reports.”

“Funny,” said Valkyrie, “Thor once told me that real heroes always get back up.”

Thor sighed and sat up, paper flying everywhere.

“I know,” he said, “I know, I’ll get it done eventually. It’s just…” He looked at all the reports and groaned, falling back onto the table again.

Valkyrie picked up one of the pieces of paper and looked it over. "Wow," she said, "This is boring."

"I know." 

"Why exactly do you have to read these again?"

Thor looked confused. “Well, it’s my job, isn’t it?” he said, “I have to look out for these people.”

Valkryie was skeptical. “Look,” she said at last, crossing her arms, “You and I both know you’re an idiot.”

“Excu-”

“Just shup up and listen, alright? You might not have the brains for these things, but luckily there are people on this ship who do. So why waste your time wracking your brain at something you’re not even good at, when you can just let someone much smarter than you do it better?”

“Well,” said Thor, then thought about it for a moment. She had a point.

“Well,” he said at last, “I have to do _something_ , don’t I?”

“Then do what you’re good at! Go out there and be an endearing idiot we all know and love– that’s all you’re good for anyways.”

“Excuse me?”

He would have objected more, but Valkyrie was still on a roll. 

“Look,” she said, “Do you think that you're the only person on this ship? Come on, get over yourself. We’re all here to help you. And I think it would help the others if they saw that you were out there too.”

"I -" said Thor, then stopped to think about what she had actually said. He looked down thoughtfully at his desk. The census was laid out in front of him, pages and pages of names.

Ragneid Ulfdottir, 37, caterer

Jannikke Larsdottir (41) & Magnus Olafson (14) & Berte Olafdottir (11), homemaker & children

And so forth.

No, he certainly wasn't the only person on this ship. There were in total, 463 living and breathing souls, and though he had read the report, how many of these people did he actually know? Who was Ragneid Ulfdottir or Jannikke Larsdottir? Their names were written out, clean and sparse on the page, but if he met them in the hallway, would he recognize even them? Probably not! He was supposed to be a king, but he didn't even know his subjects. 

“You're right!,” he said, standing up dramatically, “Thank you, Valkyrie! First things first, I will learn the names of all the people on this ship!"

“Great,” said Valkyrie, “You can start with mine.”

“What?!” said Thor. Her name wasn’t Valkyrie!?


	3. Chapter 3

Ragneid Ulfdottir, 37, caterer, had already gone over with the girls what needed to be done the previous night and by now she knew she would just get in the way, but if she had to spend another minute in this tin can in close proximity to her mother then she was going to strangle someone. Just this morning her mother had told her: "Oh, we should have roast beast stew for dinner tomorrow. Can you make roast beast stew? You used to love roast beef when you were a kid." Oh sure, roast beast stew! No problem! She'd go hunting for one that very morning. And then there was the fact that she had already planned out their meals months in advance, very carefully and painstakingly she might add, rationing out their limited supplies so that everyone can survive, but no that wasn't good enough for her mother, she HAD to have roast beef. Besides, Ragneid didn't even LIKE roast beef stew, only her mother had kept MAKING roast beef stew and she ate it without complaint because at least it was better than the other crummy meals her mother made, and as soon as she had moved out she had started making PROPER food instead.

She stopped in the middle of the hallway and sighed. She was a grown adult, and yet here she was whining about her mother. Sometimes the horrible thought even came to her - out of all the people who had survived this mess, why _her_? So many good people had perished but _of course_ it had to have been _her mother_ who survived. But she couldn't let herself think this way. It was unspeakable. So instead she left her husband Vagn to entertain her mother and went to the kitchen to distract herself.

She pushed through the door that said "employees only" and entered the kitchen.

Birna and Norril were already there, talking as they sat on the ground beneath the counter and not doing anything in particular. But when they say Ragneid they hurriedly stood up in order to look like they had been working all along. "We were just - " Norril started to say, but Ragneid gestured for them to remain as they were.

"It's fine," she said. It looked like they had done everything that needed to be done anyways. They had already set up the stacks of protein bars which lay in organized in neat rows on the counter and they had dumped today's allotment of freeze-dried soup into a pot of boiling water. "I just came by to see if everything was okay."

"Oh," said Norril, "Okay." She hovered obesequently in front of the counter as if waiting for an order.

"You can keep talking," said Ragneid.

"Um," said Norril, "Well, we were just saying...." She looked uncertainly at her friend. Then back at Ragneid who leaned against the island in the middle of the kitchen, unconsciously giving off, as she usually did, an impression of brisk impatience. But Norril couldn't possibly say what they had _really_ been talking about, not in front of their _boss_.

"So how long is - " she began, but just then Birna blurted out, "Ragneid can you help us settle an argument?" Norril groaned. She was going to really say it! Trust Birna to put her foot her mouth!

Sure enough, Birna got right to the heart of the matter: "So who do you think is hotter: Thor or Loki? Norril says Loki is hotter but that's crazy, because he's a criminal! He was literally in jail."

"Birna, how could you!" Norril exclaimed. First of all she had to bring this up to Ragneid, then she had the nerve to call Loki a criminal right to her face?! She immediately forgot that she was in front of her boss. "He's not a _criminal_!" she said shrilly, "Name _one thing_ he's done wrong!"

"Well, he did kind of try to start a war with Jotunheim," offered Ragneid.

" _So what!?_ So did Thor!"

"Yes but Loki also tried to take over Midgard," Birna pointed out.

"Y-yeeees well who cares about those lame-o humans anyway..." she said a little more uncertainly.

"He also pretended to be Odin for the last few years," said Ragneid, "If not criminal, then it's certainly rather odd."

"A-and he did a great job, didn't he!"

Ragneid considered. Actually, she had in fact scored a few catering gigs during this time for the palace and had been in touch with "Odin" over some of the arrangements. She had found him very reasonable, but to think that it had been Loki the whole time!

"It could have been worse," she said, "But you can't deny it's a little messed up."

"He's just been going through a lot!" said Norril, "He's _conflicted_."

Birna rolled her eyes. "I don't care if he's _conflicted_ , anyway, we're losing sight of what's really important! Ragneid, I'm asking you who is better looking?"

"I..." said Ragneid, trying to gauge how to avoid any hurt feelings. One way or the other Birna or Norril was going to be offended, so she decided to just be honest. "From a pure _aesthetical_ standpoint," she was careful to emphasis, "Thor is clearly better looking. I mean, have you seen those muscles?"

"I know~~!" sighed Birna.

"Muscles aren't everything," Norril muttered but even she had to admit that Thor was pretty ripped.

The lunch bell rang and everyone streamed into the cafeteria to get their rations for the day. But by now Birna and Norril didn't even have to look as they handed out protein bars and soup and continued talking animatedly.

"Did you know that Thor's single now?" said Birna, "I wonder why they broke up..."

"I heard that _she_ broke up with him," said Ragneid, "Ha! Can you believe it? Probably got sick and tired of waiting around for him all the time."

"You know, that human girl was even younger than me." said Birna, "Say Ragneid, do you think I have chance?"

"I don't know about _that_ ," said Ragneid, "Human years aren't really comparable to ours."

"I told you Birna," said Norril, "You need to start thinking more realistically."

"But the other day - "

"Just because he said hello to you doesn't mean anything! I doubt he even remembers your name!"

"He'll definitely remember," said Birna loyally. No matter what they said, she knew that Thor was the best.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello Birna!" Thor said to the girl behind the counter and just like last time she turned completely red and nearly fainted. Loki rolled his eyes. As per usual everyone was going gaga over his brother. And what had his brother done except save their people from certain destruction from his evil sister (who was no blood relation to him, Loki, he might add)? I mean, it wasn't even such a big deal, and besides he was the one who had brought them this ship in the first place.

Now his brother was going around the ship acting all buddy buddy with everybody on the ship as if they had been good pals all their life, when Loki knew for a fact he hadn't even known their names since last Wednesday.

"Are you going to stop and chat with everybody or are we going to eat?" said Loki, waiting impatiently as Thor stopped to talk to a young couple with a baby. Was he going to kiss the baby too? Absolutely sickening.

"It's called being sociable Loki," said Thor, "You should try it sometime."

"Yes -," said Loki, but he before he could finish his scathing comeback Thor was once again greeting another group of people as if they had known each other for years. Loki rolled his eyes. Thor wasn't even listening to him. Who were these people anyways? Commoners. Back on Asgard, they'd be serving him. Peasants. Why did Thor even bother learning their names? Yet he had started insisting on it, making it a point to try and commit all the people's names in this ship to memory.

"You know there are thousands of people on this ship," he said, "Are you really going to memorize them all?"

"I'm going to try," said Thor.

"I doubt your brain even has the capacity to hold that many names."

"Is that what you think?" said Thor, "I'll have you know I'm one of the brainiest people here!"

Loki rolled his eyes. Not the "brain is a muscle" argument again.

“Brains are _not_ muscle,” he said tersely, “Brains are composed mainly of fat.”

“Ha! You’re a fat head,” said Thor. Loki just sighed and went to sit down by the Valkyrie. At least she was sensible company.

“Hi Thor, Hi Loki” said Valkyrie.

“Hey,” said Thor, “….uh….” There was a long pause.

“Scrapper Two-Five-Nine?” he tried tentatively.

“Two-Five- _Eight_ ” she said, “And that’s _still_ not my name.”

“Oh. Well then, what is it?”

She rolled her eyes. “And how are you today Loki?” she asked.

“Oh, quite well, thanks for asking, Brunhilde.” He gave a smug side-long glance to his brother. As expected, Thor was looking on aghast.

“How do _you_ know her name?" he exclaimed.

"It's called being sociable, dear brother. You should try it sometime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rather abrupt ending haha. But that's pretty much all I have to say. If you liked this one please check out my other fics!


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